The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
