Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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