I want you more than these girls want KFC
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
