if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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