grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
