you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
