All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
