I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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