i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
