It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
