from now on my penis is your penis
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
