But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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