They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
