I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize