Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
