I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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