i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
