from now on my penis is your penis
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
