All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i already hear my dad disowning me
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
