I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
