ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize