So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
