you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
