covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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