Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
