I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
