i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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