i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
