you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
