Swine flu. Run for my life!
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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