Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
