broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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