She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
