bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sext me about skeletons
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
