he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
