there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
