His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
