Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize