my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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