my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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