before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
