What did we do last night that was yellow?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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