Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
