What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You took a bar mat shot.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
