I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
