I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
