My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Couch. On fire.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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