I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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