Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
