My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
she smelled like a LAN party
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
