she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
