I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
