she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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