dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
