That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
