I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
