How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
