D3 body, D1 cock
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
