i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
