u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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