my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
