My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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