I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
