hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
