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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed

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• (408): View more from California

  if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place

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• (716): View more from New York

  Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.

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• (845): View more from New York

  im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

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• (619): View more from California

  Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  I want to change all my life goals to that.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...

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• (254): View more from Texas

  I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.

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