too bad you live with your parents still
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize