He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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