She is in my trunk
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize