Midget sex pt 2 tonight
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
