Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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