I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
These tits shall not be calmed
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
