its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize