Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You are the jesus of drinking
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