Sponge bath it is.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
