My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I forgot how hot balto sounded
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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