Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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