how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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