You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
nutella sex= disaster
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
