Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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