similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
