It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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